


The Watchman

by ThatMasterOnline



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24617884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatMasterOnline/pseuds/ThatMasterOnline
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale discuss Aziraphale's "watchman". Based on "Log of Events in a Soho Bookshop" by ineffablefool.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	The Watchman

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Log Of Events In A Soho Bookshop](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20026522) by [ineffablefool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablefool/pseuds/ineffablefool). 



There are two Aziraphales. One who exists, and one who exists when the first is not present. Somehow, they communicate. That, to Crowley, is the most bewildering part. Aziraphale - the first one - will be lost in a book with his head up in the clouds, and yet when Crowley manages to pull him back into the real world the second Aziraphale will have told the first exactly what Crowley said, and the first Aziraphale will answer questions he wasn't at all present for at the time of the time of asking.

"You said something about lunch? I am feeling a bit peckish…"

_ You were neck-deep in that book when I invited you to lunch! If you heard me, why didn't you answer?! _ Crowley thinks incredulously, and yet he knows that Aziraphale did not hear him, that the knowledge was simply passed on by another.

"How do you do it?" Crowley asks one day, "Know about things you were tuned out for?"

"I have...a mental secretary," Aziraphale replies, "I call him my watchman. It's almost like...like when my mind is away, he takes note of important things in a logbook. When I come back to myself, he has a whole log book full of important things for me to review. It's rather like when I step out of the shop and my voicemail says "So sorry, Aziraphale is away, please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can."

"So you're reading some book and your watchman tells me to  _ leave a message _ ?" Crowley asks, bemused.

"Well yes. Like last week, when you came around after three. You were all over me, and when I came back to myself I had little messages all over. One demonic kiss on cheek. One offer of chocolates. One demonic chin on head, very bony, please ask to move at earliest convenience. Demonic chin gone. Reminder to ask about bony chin. One threat to eat aforementioned chocolates if you do not return soon. One demon, looking very put out. And then when I came back, I looked through all of my messages. My poor watchman got a very lovely overtime bonus that day."

"Oh, he did, did he?" Crowley asks, eyebrows raising, "And what sort of overtime bonus does your little watchman get, when he's just your unconscious mind?"

"Bubblebaths. He does so love bubblebaths. Sometimes, if he really earns his keep, I'll go out and buy him a bath bomb. That particular day, however, he got the chocolates. He worked so hard, keeping track of what you were saying, it's only fair he got to have some."

"Well you know, I think I'd like to try out this watchman and see how much he takes down. I'll be around."

***

"Angel. Angel? Aaaaaangeeeelll…"

_ One (1) demon calling,  _ the watchman writes in his log book.

"Don't mind me, Aziraphale, I'm just going to move this book over here."

"Mhm."

_ One (1) copy of Measure for Measure moved beside 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.  _

"Ooh, and I feel like this could go here. Looks better, doesn't it?"

The watchman rolled his eyes. Now,  **really** . But he dutifully took notes and passed it to someone higher up the chain to review.

_ One (1) copy of Treasure Island moved beside Black Beauty. Scold demon at earliest convenience. _

"Are you listening to me, angel? You'd better snap out of it, or I'll throw your beloved misprint bible into the trash."

_ One (1) demonic attempt to get a rise out of me. Rescind previous suggestion to scold. _

"You know I love you, angel."

_ One (1) demonic kiss on cheek. _

"I miss you when you're away…" Aziraphale shifts his book so he can see better.

_ One (1) demonic kiss on lips.  _

"Come on back to me, angel."

_ One (1) more demonic kiss on lips. _

"...Well, I guess I have no choice but to throw this lovely misprint in the trash."

_ Demon moving to trash with one (1) beloved- _

"Crowley, put that down  _ this instant _ !" Crowley grins, the kind of grin that means he's going to do something  _ dastardly _ , and lets go of the book. Aziraphale jolts out of his chair with a wail, but the book appears, unharmed, on a table.

"Wecome back, angel."

"You are  _ incorrogible _ , Crowley,  _ really! _ The watchman holds the logbook out to Aziraphale, who snatches it up. He strides to the shelf with Measure for Measure and moves it back to its original spot. Treasure Island is also reshelved.

"If I knew I could get you this riled up I'd mess with your books more often."

"You will do no such thing! Your couch privileges are henceforth revoked until further notice!"

" _ What?! _ " Aziraphale's favourite couch is also Crowley's favourite place to nap. Aizraphale had graciously given him the couch to nap on whenever he so pleased...until today.

"Angel, angel,  _ please _ , let's be rational-"

"I was quite rational right up until you dropped a one of a kind misprinted bible!"

"Angel, I'll do anything-"

"Too right you will, and you can start with making me a cup of cocoa...Ah-ah-ah! The  _ human way _ ."

***

"I hadn't meant to scold you," Aziraphale laments miserably

"Why not?"

"I knew you were trying to get a rise out of me."

"Your watchman told you I was trying to get a rise out of you."

"I was determined not to let it work, but when I saw you holding that bible…"

"Well, it's alright, angel. I was really pressing your buttons. Nothing to do but undo what you did, that's all."

"...No, you may not come lie with me on the couch, if that's what you're suggesting I do."

"Angel…!"


End file.
